


Mr and Mr Lamperouge

by ChibisUnleashed



Category: Code Geass
Genre: A Little Bit Of Crack, All in a day's work for Code Geass, Also important to note, Because people get thwacked, Lelouch does not intend to blow up Pacman, M/M, Mr and Mrs Smith AU, Suzalulu Week 2016, a little bit of romance, but just in case, it's vague tho, rating to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 11:17:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19172173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibisUnleashed/pseuds/ChibisUnleashed
Summary: Originally for the Suzalulu week 2016 prompt: DomesticSuzaku and Lelouch are both very, very good at killing targets. They are also very, very in love.Their employers don't like this.





	Mr and Mr Lamperouge

**Author's Note:**

> omg it took me three years to finish this. The direction of the end changed like four times but IT'S DONE NOW. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. *Lays on the floor.*

Suzaku can’t believe he didn’t realize. In hindsight, it was obvious, and he really should have visited Lelouch at the office once.  _ At least  _ once, but no, he’d been far too pleased with Lelouch never asking to visit  _ his  _ office, and now…

Now he was shooting at his husband with a very expensive shotgun. 

“Is Lelouch even your real name?!”

“Yes!” Lelouch shouted, then shuffled backward to hide behind the island in the kitchen, “...Although Lamperouge isn’t.”

“What? You mean I took a  _ fake name?”  _

“Yes, technically.” Lelouch checked the amount of bullets left in his handgun, cursed quietly, and peeked around the corner to look for Suzaku, “It’s all legal, though.”

“That definitely makes me feel better.”

The banter went quiet and so did the house. Suzaku stepped lightly over the broken glass in the living room. A shame, because he’d really liked that wall unit, although the ‘heirloom sake set’ hadn’t actually been an heirloom, so that was alright. 

It helped that his parents were actually dead. He’d never needed to lie about that, which was Lelouch’s next question, from  _ way  _ closer than Suzaku was comfortable with, “Are your parents actually dead?!”

“Yes!” What Suzaku lied about was having anything that belonged to them. “Are yours actually alive?”

“No. The one that matters, anyway.” 

Suzaku breathed a sigh of relief that he’d put another wall between them again, but that answer had him intrigued, not the least of which because, “Then who were those nice people we had Thanksgiving dinner with?”

“Paid actors.”

“Fuck, and I really liked your dad’s sense of humor.”

The vase behind Suzaku shattered as Lelouch took a shot at him from… wait, shit, was he upstairs? Suzaku shot through the wall and hoped it was in the right direction. 

It was; he could see Lelouch fleeing across the landing through the hole left behind.

The curious little flip his stomach did at the knowledge he’d missed made his silent steps falter, and he took cover behind a cabinet until his nerves stilled again.

Lelouch didn’t give himself time to consider how close that call had been. He opened every door on his way by, hoping to confuse Suzaku about where he’d gone, then ducked into the bathroom. 

He knew asking questions did nothing but reveal his position, but he found he  _ needed  _ to know just how much of Suzaku was the Suzaku he knew. How much of it was a lie. “Did you really play soccer in high school?”

“Football. American.” Suzaku’s voice drifted up from below, “But my coach really was a dick!”

...Lelouch surprised himself by thinking that was an acceptable level of blurred truth. 

He shot blindly into the floor, just to keep up the pretense of a firefight.

Now was not the time to be charmed by Suzaku’s brazen personality. Not when his husband was trying to kill him. It was just another advantage Suzaku had over him and Lelouch could not allow it to be used against him. 

Still. “And drama club?”

There was clear hesitation in the answer.

“Gardening club.”

Lelouch nearly dropped his gun, “G- _ gardening  _ club?”

“See?!” Suzaku accused from just about directly below him, “That’s why I didn’t tell you!”

As if it were Lelouch’s opinion, and not Suzaku’s need for a cover that made him lie. “That’s- Gardening is a perfectly fine hobby,” Lelouch stumbled over his words.

“I can hear the judgement rolling off you in waves.”

Lelouch rolled his eyes. It had nothing to do with his opinion on gardening and everything to do with having gotten used to thinking of Suzaku as a drama nerd, which he apparently had never been.

Lelouch shot through the floor out of spite this time.

Suzaku pointlessly dove to the side. Holy shit, how did Lulu know where he was?! But that meant he knew where Lelouch was, too. The chance of barricading him in the bathroom was slim, but Suzaku made his way into the hall just the same.

And it was his turn again.

“What about that scar you said your brother gave you? Was any of that real?”

“My brother did give me that scar,” Lelouch answered with ice in his tone, voice too low for Suzaku to know if he was moving, “although the true story isn’t as nice.”

Fuck if that didn’t just make Suzaku curious. He should have been angry, shouldn’t he? 

Except even a normal couple might’ve lied about something like that.

Suzaku shook the thought as he climbed the stairs, keeping to the spots that creaked the least. He wasn’t supposed to be forgiving Lelouch for lying to him. He was supposed to be finding out the truth and feeling betrayed. 

“And what about your monthly-” Suzaku tripped over his own accusation. He’d never really understood what the fuck it was Lelouch went to do every month, but he remembered at least one word of it,  _ “Volunteer  _ thing? Where were you really going? World leader assassination of the month club?”

Lelouch audibly choked.

He needed to get out of the bathroom. Not only was it stupid incarnate to let himself get cornered, but there was nothing particularly honorable about dying beside a toilet. 

And yet that wasn’t what pulled him up short. If only Lelouch could claim he had a new world leader to assassinate every month. If only his  _ monthly volunteer thing  _ was something so diabolical, but no. No, it was worse.

“That… That’s not a lie.”

“What?”

Why the ever-loving fuck was his husband making him admit this twice? It wasn’t that Lelouch wasn’t proud, but in this particular context, this was fucking embarrassing. “I actually do volunteer work every month.”

“Well-” Suzaku sounded just as strangled as Lelouch had been, and a hell of a lot closer. Lelouch made himself silent as he slipped into the bedroom around a corner, “Well,  _ fuck.”  _

Oh, Suzaku. Eloquence had never been his strong suit.

He didn’t get long to ponder that before the high squeal of metal-on-metal told Lelouch Suzaku had already cleared the bathroom. Only a heartbeat later and Lelouch stood facing him, handgun drawn, as Suzaku burst into the bedroom after him. 

Everything went still. 

The house had seemed quiet before, but with their feet unmoving, their arms locked in place, and no questions between them, the silence was complete. Not that Lelouch could hear it over the blood rushing in his ears, over the volume of his own thoughts in his head, predicting and calculating and planning in circles. He should pull the trigger now, before Suzaku takes his chance. He should end this before Suzaku’s curiosity runs out and he does it, first.

The seconds ticked.

And then the first real sound Lelouch heard since the cocking of two guns was Suzaku’s heavy sigh as he dropped his weapon, “I can’t.”

Lelouch did not do the same, “You surrender?”

One unsteady hand ran through Suzaku’s hair from front to back, and then he was nodding as if a decision had been made, “Yes, I… There might’ve been a lot of lies, but the marriage, for me the marriage was real.”

It was slow, almost tentative, but as Suzaku watched, a smirk began to pull at Lelouch’s lips. He looked like he always did, as if perfect plans were coming together, and maybe they were. Maybe surrender was what Lelouch wanted, the easy kill, so he could get back to the hard ones he’d get paid for.

And that was… Well, it wasn’t  _ fine,  _ but it was better. Better than this knock down drag out carrying on and on until someone won the hard way, until  _ Suzaku  _ won the hard way and had to figure out how to live without his husband at home every night. 

Frankly, Suzaku would rather not be the one left behind. 

So he closed his eyes and spread his arms and gave himself up, “I don’t mind dying for you.”

For the second time, the world paused. Suzaku could hear his pulse pounding in his ears, his own harsh breathing as he waited for death, but nothing more. He didn’t wonder if it would hurt, but he did wonder where Lelouch would aim; whether he might leave him nice for a casket or require a closed one.

Turned out that it didn’t matter anyway. Suzaku didn’t hear it when Lelouch set his gun aside, but he felt it when arms wrapped around him, when warm lips pressed against his.

In the span of maybe five heartbeats, Lelouch’s entire world flipped upside-down. Thirty seconds ago, it was kill or be killed. Twenty seconds ago, it was an easy job. Ten seconds ago, Lelouch’s life flashed before his eyes, and that was when he knew, if he pulled the trigger, he was dying, too. 

Suzaku tasted just as warm and spicy as he always did. Somehow, Lelouch thought he would be different. Maybe hold him different, or kiss with more reservation,  _ something  _ to mark that their world had changed. But nothing had changed, save their employment status, and that bothered Lelouch just as much as it didn’t bother him at all. 

_ Lelouch  _ felt different. It was an odd, almost horrible combination of finally free and burdened with chains. The powers that be would never let them live. They worked for opposing agencies. Even if one of them turned, joined with the other, the original company would do their best to eliminate the competition simply because. The paperwork would say to protect company secrets, but the ink between the lines would speak more to personal offense and one-upmanship. 

Nobody wanted to lose out on such a great asset. Not being picked would sting.

Lelouch kissed desperately, passionately, needily. He would believe it if Suzaku hadn’t considered any of this, yet. He would believe it if Suzaku thought they had all the time in the world. Lelouch knew better. Lelouch knew they were on borrowed time.

Suzaku wanted to savor. Even  _ without  _ the world-class assassin side of things, Lelouch was a devious spouse. Suzaku figured it was still a fifty-fifty gamble whether Lelouch would slit his throat in his sleep, but it was worth it. Every second was worth it. 

Lelouch sucked at his lips and tore at his shirt greedily, and Suzaku let him. Lelouch could do whatever Lelouch wanted to do. Suzaku was, by far, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his own love for this man to care. 

...Although, he  _ had  _ liked that shirt, and it was missing half of its buttons now. 

Suzaku tripped them onto the bed and shoved wood chips and broken glass out of their way as Lelouch returned the favor by destroying his own shirt. Suzaku made it a priority to undo their belts and pants before Lelouch could expand on his destructive rampage. They weren’t going to be as rich now that they were unhirable. 

It wasn’t slow, and Lelouch wasn’t gentle, but it was sensual in a way Suzaku struggled to explain. They had never been this rough before. Suzaku hadn’t known he  _ could  _ be, and it was freeing, and fun. Open and honest and  _ fun.  _ Suzaku was grinning from ear to ear, and Lelouch spent whatever time he wasn’t gasping and groaning with a smirk on his face. 

There was  _ more  _ broken glass on the bed when they fell exhausted to the mattress than when they’d started. The headboard used to be in one piece, but now?...

Suzaku  _ loved  _ what they’d done with the place.

-o-

It didn’t matter much to Lelouch that they were about to do irreparable damage to countless game machines, but he knew that it would matter at least a  _ little  _ bit to Suzaku and so he wouldn’t have chosen this location, if he’d had any ability to choose at all.

As it so happens, one doesn’t really get to choose when someone else will decide to start shooting at them and so here they were, running full tilt through the backdoor of a popular arcade, several hours after closing with the sun’s first rays chasing them over the threshold. 

There was an  _ amazing  _ amount of shit back here. Whole cases of ticket rolls, giant bags of cheap plush toys, box upon box of novelty gadget that no one would actually win enough tickets to ‘buy.’ One look at his face and Lelouch knew that any other time, Suzaku would be all over this crap. 

Right now he was all business, clearing the room and covering Lelouch on his way to the manager’s office. There wouldn’t be anything fancy to hack in a place like this, but access to security cameras and the fire alarm would be sufficient for now. And maybe the manager had a taser hidden away in here, who knows, they could get lucky. 

This wasn’t how Lelouch intended his life to go. He was supposed to murder at night, seduce his wonderful husband during the day. Since discovering their joint occupation, they only managed to stay underground for a week at most before the next group of assassins found them and made them move along. 

Surely,  _ surely  _ the wake of death would eventually encourage less people to chase them, but for now it encouraged larger and larger groups with bigger and bigger guns. The current group was at least fifteen strong, although their guns didn’t seem  _ that  _ big.

But then, Lelouch was rather used to Suzaku’s armament, so there was that. 

The first of many gunshots let Lelouch know his time in the office was coming to an end. “Suzaku, honey, can you hold them off for just another minute?”

Suzaku ducked before he answered, which was acceptable. Getting shot was not preferable to prompt response. “I can give you two.”

Lelouch smirked, and worked faster. He had the cameras, he just didn’t have them pointed where he wanted, and not all of them moved, anyway. He had taken a few spare seconds to mine for any bank information he could find, to replenish their resources, but now he was paying for it. It turned out there  _ were  _ a few more things he could hack in this building, and he wanted them connected to his phone before they had to ditch this box of plaster and worker’s comp posters. 

A bullet through the cabinet behind the monitor told him it was time to go.

“I thought you said two minutes,” Lelouch accused as he dove beneath the desk to reach the door in record time.

“Lulu,” Suzaku sighed as he fired off three more rounds and pointed silently to where it was they needed to go for cover outside, “It’s been two and a half.”

Yes, well. Lelouch waited for Suzaku to begin his next round of cover fire to slide between him and the door and escape. He didn’t look behind him; he knew Suzaku would be right on his heels. They never separated, anymore. Since discovering their very similar skill sets and the magnitude to which most of the world wanted them dead, it seemed like a very bad idea to go it alone for any length of time. They were stronger together. 

They always had been. 

“The elevator, Suzaku,” Lelouch said into his ear as he slipped him another gun to replace the one that was almost out of bullets, “We need to get up to the gaming floor.”

Suaku turned the most adorably concerned puppy eyes on him that Lelouch had ever seen.

“You’re not gonna blow up Pacman, are you?”

Lelouch almost didn’t answer. “No, Suzaku, I’m not planning to blow up Pacman. But Pacman’s flashing lights will make fantastic cover when I turn the whole arcade on in three, two…”

Lelouch tapped his phone screen and the entire building lit up. Deep red emergency lights and soft yellow security lights were suddenly drowned out by huge white fluorescents and sharp blue LEDs. Suzaku didn’t need to be told to move, he was very in-tune to how Lelouch’s plans worked nowadays and yes, okay, maybe their exit into the elevator wasn’t as subtle as it could have been and maybe the elevator door had more bullet dents in it than Lelouch would have liked but nobody was dead, and that was priority. 

Lelouch used the ten seconds in the elevator to launch the second half of his distraction and reload the gun Suzaku handed to him upon accelerating upward. Flashing lights were great and all, but they were still limited to the boxes they were in. Reflection and diffusion could only he-

Lelouched turned his head to stare at Suzaku.

His wonderful, beautiful, talented, strong, and damn near unkillable husband, was bobbing his head and humming along to the smooth jazz elevator music. He wasn’t even checking his gun. Or. Or rolling up his torn sleeve and when had he torn his sleeve?! 

“Suzaku.”

“Yes, Lulu?”

Those green eyes were impossibly wide. If Lelouch didn’t know exactly how deadly the man beside him was, he would think Suzaku couldn’t hurt a fly. Even if it bit him.

“How are you not dead?”

Suzaku only had time to shrug,- _ shrug!  _ Like he didn’t even care!-before the elevator doors were opening and gunfire was upon them once more. Lelouch meant to duck like normal, but Suzaku grabbed him by the waist and rolled them through the fucking air and behind a large two-person shooter game. 

Okay. Yes.  _ That  _ was how Suzaku wasn’t dead.

They couldn’t stay there. The game was half destroyed when they ran out from behind it on the other side, chased by a curtain of bullets. Even Lelouch returned fire as they slipped away, looking for more convincing cover. They needed to distract the oncoming mini-army or they would never be able to hide. 

The timing was absolutely perfect for Lelouch’s fog to come rolling through. 

There was a small laser tag set-up in the corner of this floor, and like all good laser tag it was filled with mirrors and just enough fog effects to make things eery. Normally, the fog was set to not even cover the floor.  _ Apparently  _ that’s a trip hazard. Lelouch overrode that. Overrode it and turned it up to twenty. 

It was like a sentient cloud of angry evaporation had invaded the building. 

Suzaku didn’t even blink. He couldn’t have reacted better if Lelouch had  _ told  _ him about it. They dove straight into the cover and went quiet, and dark. They could see the position of their enemy by the brief flashes of muzzle fire, but return fire would only give them the same advantage. Lelouch slipped two cards out of his pocket and pressed one silently into Suzaku’s hand.

Infinite credit. Lelouch swiped the card through the money slot on the nearest machine and it instantly came to life. He didn’t hang about to play, though. Suzaku and he pushed through the fog, lighting up game after game on their way, leaving some dark, back-tracking so it never made a straight path. 

Lelouch went for the brightest, blinkiest, loudest machines he could find. If it was going to flash white light in infinite circles and blare a fog horn, Lelouch started the game. By the time they were done, even the floor was hard to find, hidden by multi-colored fog that shifted as their eyes adjusted and then were blinded by a new, bright flash. When they reached the skeeball, Lelouch nudged Suzaku to grab a few heavy, solid,  _ dark  _ wooden balls and stepped back. 

What ensued was the deadliest version of dodgeball Lelouch had ever beheld. His husband might as well have been a cannon by trade. Their enemy had stopped firing when their tracks were sufficiently covered, but after the first scream, all of the revealing muzzle fire was back. Suzaku picked them off one by one as Lelouch huddled inside an adventure game, checking the cameras and making sure the police  _ weren’t  _ called.

It wasn’t a tall enough building to have a fire escape, but they had to leave from the roof. The normal exits were covered too well and beside that, Lelouch didn’t want to spend another awkward ten seconds in that elevator ever again.

Too late, Lelouch realized a shadow in the mist wasn’t a trick of the eyes. There was an enemy attacker  _ right there.  _ He shot out of the adventure game and stayed low, making his way over to the skeeball, where he grabbed one of the heavy wooden projectiles and lobbed it back toward his hiding place.

It hit the ground with a dense  _ thump  _ and rolled, pitiful and sad, right to the feet of the man Lelouch had been attempting to, well, maybe not  _ kill,  _ but at least maim severely. The man looked as dumbfounded as Lelouch felt, as if he’d looked death in the eyes only to realize death was a sixth month old kitten and he was probably going to be okay.

Luckily, a second, well-aimed ball to the skull took the man to the floor before Lelouch had to explain himself. 

To the _ guy,  _ anyway, because Suzaku was looking at him like he was going to need a ten slide PowerPoint and dry-erase markers to understand what just happened, “How are  _ you  _ not dead?”

Lelouch grabbed his husband by the arm and booked it to the roof access door. So what if he couldn’t throw skeeballs. That’s what  _ guns  _ were for. 

This was the easy part. More than half of their attackers were unconscious or blinking their way through concussions now and fully half of the cars on the road were connected to the internet somehow. Lelouch dropped a  _ small  _ grenade down into the stairwell to keep anyone from following them up too quickly and ran to the edge.

They always had climbing gear on them. You never knew when you were going to have to drop eight stories to the pavement below. This was their last chance at a quiet moment before the grand escape though, so Lelouch grabbed Suzaku by his, thankfully  _ un _ torn collar, and pulled him in for a quick, indulgent kiss. It lasted an unfair two seconds before they had to go, hooking their lines to the edge of the roof and jumping over the side.

Just as planned, they dropped conveniently into a convertible parked below. Obviously  _ someone  _ had drank too much to drive and Lelouch was more than willing to take advantage. 

The car started with the push of a button and they were gone. 

Suzaku poised over the backrest, using one of the  _ big guns  _ to spray cover fire, but it was obvious very quickly that nobody was going to catch up to them. If they were, it would be by air. And Suzaku had  _ fantastic  _ aim.

They were uncatchable. Lelouch wouldn’t jynx them by saying they were unkillable, but they were as close as anyone could get. Damn their employers for ever trying to keep them apart; they were a million times deadlier together, and they would prove it.

Every man, every woman, everyone sent to kill them would find out. They could be chased to the edge of the earth and back, and it wouldn’t change a thing.

No one chose their fate but them.

Together, they were unstoppable. 


End file.
